Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tourist Crap Trap

Let's see, go out drinking with Dennis, check. Go out for dinner, and drinks with Dennis, check. Go out to breakfast on Sunday for brunch and mimosas with Dennis, check. Repeat the first item on the agenda, a couple of times, and there you have the itinerary of Dennis' visit. I find it gets to be more and more difficult to entertain visitors, especially when the latest one lived here for eighteen years. How many times can you go see alligator wrestling, or take visitors down to the beach before you want to scream? And Mark's suggestion that we go out to the Sawgrass Mills Outlet Mall, just isn't going to fly. I'm pretty sure that Dennis could find all the malls he needs in Chicago, and didn't come down to Florida to fight off Brazilians, and Quebecois over things that were too crappy to sell in the real stores.

Yesterday morning I got a brilliant idea for a way to entertain Dennis, I invited him to come along and walk dogs at the shelter. I figured he would be out in the fresh air, get to walk among the beautiful flora of South Florida, and get some exercise. It would give Dennis something to do, and help get all the dogs walked more quickly. For his first walk, we gave Dennis a dog named Tofu. Everybody likes Tofu, and although he has been at the shelter for a number of years, he is still a loving and friendly dog. Next up was Bambi, a very nice pit bull, followed by Pork Chop. All in all, Dennis walked five of the big dogs for us, and he did it without getting bitten, or stepping in dog shit. So, for anyone else who is freezing their asses off up north, come on down, and don't forget to bring a pair of shoes that you don't care about getting poop on. You can't say I don't know how to entertain.


  1. I like the part about how everyones likes Tofu. hehe

    Kudos for you guys giving those poor puppies fresh air and exercise.

    Like I have said before, we should all find the time to volunteer at our local animal shelters. These poor animals really need our help.

    There is just no excuse not to. So pick up that phone now and find out where your local shelter is and drop by. You might be totally surprized how happy you'll feel.

  2. Is that Alan or Dennis in that bottom picture?

  3. Dennis. Doesn't he look svelte?

  4. Where is my Wednesday morning Alan World Blog?