Thursday Night Football, Bears 16, Dolphins 0

I've always resented those people I see parking in handicapped spaces who hop out of the car, and stroll effortlessly away. It seems that there are a lot of folks out there abusing that system.

This past Thursday night I got to see the other side of handicapped parking, and it was sweet. Well, not so sweet for my elderly brother who has messed up knees and has trouble walking, but for me as a passenger it was great. While everyone else was being herded into the gigantic parking lot a mile from the entrance to Joe Robbe/Pro Player/Dolphin/Land Shark/Sun Life Stadium, My brother and I were waved on through to the parking lot that sits within spitting distance of the entrance we wanted. Easy in, easy out, it seemed like a good omen.

One odd thing about attending a football game at JRPPDLSSL Stadium, is that they pat you down on your way in. They frisk you like the TSA at the airport, except at the stadium that job is left up to bored, minimum wage workers. When it came my turn to be frisked, the poor guy just looked at me with a worn out look on his face and kind of waved his hands around me. As a courtesy to him, I pretended to go along with the 'air' frisking by lifting my arms a couple of inches.

All in all we had a great time at the football game. The Bears won, no fights broke out in our section, and I only had to pee once due to my policy of not drinking anything at football games. I know that sounds harsh, but if you've ever been in a stadium bathroom you know that passing on the alcohol pays off in the long run. The only remotely bad thing about the evening was that my poor brother had to wedge himself into the tiny stadium seat, and every few minutes he had to drag himself up on his bad knees to let some drunken shmoo out to take a pee.