Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Fog of War

'What about me?'


"I'm sorry....   I didn't mean to say those things."
This was followed by a very awkward silence.
"Don't you have anything to say to me?", Mark continued, obviously waiting for me to reciprocate.
"You locked the dog in the car! You locked the fucking dog in the car!", was my reply.
And once again the argument blew up, albeit this time with a little less vulgarity, and less anger.

This is what happened, to the best of my memory.
Yesterday afternoon Mark took me to the pharmacy. Little Sasha was so excited when she saw me put on my shoes, that I decided to bring her along for the ride. At the pharmacy they informed me that my prescription price had quadrupled since the last refill, so I refused the prescription, and told Mark to take me home so I could call the insurance company. I was pissed and fuming at the insurance company all the way home. When we arrived home I was still cranky. So when Mark got out of the car, and immediately locked the doors, it started.
"Open the door, the dog is still in there."
After waiting two seconds I barked at him again, "Open the door you &%#$@&#, the dog is still in the car!"
Mark then started cursing back at me, and stomped off into the house, while Sasha sat locked in the back seat. Much door slamming, key tossing, and many filthy words followed. Most of it by me. After having my say, I limped back out to the car on my newly repaired knee, and retrieved the perplexed little Sasha. For the rest of the afternoon a cold, and icy silence fell over our house.

When we both cooled down, we compared notes on who was to blame for this argument. According to Mark it was me for not waiting while he fumbled for the car keys. Of course I saw it much differently. Mark had committed the sin of locking one of my dogs in the car. Honestly, I really don't remember what was what, only that I got pissed and slammed some doors. It would be nice if I had a recording of the whole thing, but I don't and I guess I have to take Mark's word for what he thinks happened. All I know is that it's over now, and he's taking me out for food and drinks now.

Oh, and by the way, I'm sorry.

13 comments:

  1. Fight faught exactly as I recall fights faught in my house for the past 35 years. We all recall the incidents differently, but the outcome is always the same.

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  2. Did Sasha get leftovers? It's the children who suffer...

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  3. I'm glad I got away from all the drama years ago. I hate drama.

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  4. PROOF THAT NO BABY WOULD BE SAFE WITH 2 VULGAR MOUTH GUYS! NO BABY-NO HOW, EVER!!!!!

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  5. Right, because straight couples never curse and argue. We never did.

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  6. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

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  7. What comes around goes around. Whatever lifestyle you are, you should never have a vulgar mouth around babies or children.

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  8. Then how are your children going to learn how to curse correctly? From the streets? Just think of it as home schooling for cursing.

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  9. Mother Mary EtiquetteMay 18, 2011 at 11:55 AM

    Word substitution. For example: Freakin, Fudge, sheet, Mother of Mayhem, roosterfocker, Dang, Dangit, DogDangit, DoubleDogDangit, Azzo, etc.

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  10. No, the reason a baby would not be safe has to do with Marks short attention span and Alans gradual decrepitness!! The cursing was just a bonus.

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  11. http://www.paradisegalleries.com/
    images/collectibledoll/DollCategory
    Thumb/Baby-Doll-Baby-Rihanna.jpg

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  12. A Nony Mouse, Well I'm glad it's not the fact that we locked our dog in the car.

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  13. Did I really have to list ALL the reasons it would be a baaaaaad idea???

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