Monday, May 2, 2011

The Royal Line of Succession

What a royal pain in the ass. Last Friday I got up in the morning and turned on the news, totally forgetting about the 'Big Wedding'. The worst part about it is that the only news channel I could find that wasn't slobbering all over William and Kate, was Fox. It must have something to do with the polls showing Americans are getting over the republicans, and they needed to get back to slanting the news.

Sorry, I just am not impressed with the comings and goings of those who belong to the lucky sperm club. I don't begrudge those who were born into a very fortunate life, I just don't care about them. You see I kind of think I was born lucky. Ten brothers and sisters, and a mom and dad who stayed married right up until the end. In addition to having a fairly decent family life, I also had a dad who managed to teach me some important things even if it was unintentional sometimes. For instance what we as kids perceived as his cheapness, was a chance for us to learn the value of budgeting our money. We might not have had the latest and greatest crap that our friends had, but we always had food on the table. Don't spend what you don't have, and you'll do fine in the end, that was the lesson. Now if I can only teach that to Mark.

Another thing I learned from my dad was fear. Fear of his gigantic hand coming down on my ass was a powerful deterrent during my teenage years. I am sure I'd have been a drug crazed high school dropout if I wasn't so afraid of the consequences. I'm proud to say I was a drug crazed hippie with a high school diploma thanks to my dad.

Today is dad's birthday. He's not with us any more, and I do miss him. I hope he knew how much I appreciated him before he left us. After all, he did beget some royalty. A big old drag queen named Alicia.


  1. ...and what was dad's stage name while he was in drag?

  2. Happy Birthday Dad - I miss you a lot!

  3. Thanks for this blog Alan. We all miss him I am sure and we all have our favotite memories. You are correct, we are royalty in our own right, startng with the Frog Prince!
    Happy Birthday Dad - Miss you!

  4. Apple doesn't fall far from the support-hose tree. Cheers to dad and his family jewels that begot Alan and Alicia.

  5. Alan-you paved the way for me to get away with more than you did.I thank you for that.
    Not until now did I see the connection with Dad and you both dressing up. However Big Al used the clown make-up.
    Where's my monkey head?

  6. Interesting fact Hostess. Dad only had one 'family jewel', yet he fathered eleven children.

    Anna Banana, I have to get to the post office and get one of those 'ship anything' boxes.

    Garrett, dad's drag name was 'Dad'. Even in a dress he was a formidable force.

  7. For all those indicating how much they miss their Dad...just remember that you still have a mother and she won't be around for long either. They both did the best they could, forgive now and visit or forever shut the f*** up. Sorry, Alan, it has to be said. You are a good son and Dad loved your gay ass, he'd have thought Alicia was a hoot! And Mom loves that she can always count on a call from you each week.

  8. Just because someone says they miss their dad, does that mean they don't remember their mom? Lot of nerve A Nony Mouse - unless you are the ultimate son/daughter who forgave whatever and visits all the time. WOW - sounds like you have issues!!!

  9. Alicia Fan Club MemberMay 3, 2011 at 7:22 AM

    Like father, like son! Looking forward to an Alicia Video Thursday this week!

  10. nervy Nony MouseMay 4, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    No, "a reader", I have no issues as I know I am not a perfect parent. Therefore I forgive the errors MY parents made, being human and all. The point I was making was not to wait until a parent dies to then miss them. It's not about visiting all the time its about staying connected. And if the shoe fits-oh well.