Tuesday, May 28, 2013


A Coors commercial came on while I was watching baseball, and when it was done I swore I'd never buy Coors Beer. My problem with the commercial is the use of a song I really used to like. Love Train by the O'Jays. I'm sure the ad agencies have done mountains of research that say using old rock songs is a good thing, but I have to disagree. It only makes me resent that brand for ruining a good memory. Love Train used to bring back pleasant memories of one of the best times of my life, the seventies. Now it just makes me think of a train running where it shouldn't, and a bunch of drunk hipsters having a good time. I hate Coors.
Site of the Memorial Day Cookout.

About two weeks ago Mark told me he was having a cookout on Memorial Day. The conversation wasn't, "Alan, I'd like to have a cookout on Memorial Day. Is that all right with you?" No, he said it was happening and that was that. So this past week I had to clean up the yard, trim the hedges, get the swimming pool into shape, clean the house from top to bottom, and go with Mark on numerous shopping sprees for food, liquor, and holiday decorations. In addition there was the constant re-cleaning of the kitchen as Mark produced chicken salad sandwiches, pulled pork sandwiches, barbequed Hawaiian pulled pork sandwiches, taco casserole, watermelon salad, and various other dishes. The dishwasher was running non-stop for three days. That is until early Sunday evening when a horrible grinding noise came loudly from the kitchen. It was the dishwasher, it was dead. To understand the full impact of this you must understand how Mark cooks. Let's say he's going to make a ham and cheese sandwich. You would think he would take two pieces of bread, some ham, some cheese, and maybe some mayonnaise, and neatly produce a sandwich. Not Mark. When Mark is done making that sandwich there is mayonnaise everywhere, there are ham bits flung against the wall, cheese shards stuck in every crevice, and a huge pile of bowls, and utensils along with two dogs gleefully grabbing as many of the sandwich makings as they can that have fallen into their realm. But I have strayed from my main subject; Mark's party and my resentment that his party created a lot of extra work for me, and burned out the dishwasher. Mark just had a big party four months ago and I think one big party per year is more than enough. In the forty seven years before I met Mark, I had a total of three parties at my house. I just don't see a need for them. Anyway, there is an up side of this. I did a lot of extra work around the house and it now looks much nicer, and I'm going to get a new dishwasher.


  1. Hmmm, massive cleaning when on a quickly arriving deadline.... sounds like a family trait!!

  2. I'm concerned, Alan. I leave on vacation...I had a nice time, thank you for asking...and when I get back I see a disturbing tendency to not link thoughts in your stories.
    For example...your bent pinkie joint isn't linked to Sasha's nibbled leg, and your hate of Coors beer isn't linked to the dishwasher crashing Memorial Day party.
    From now on, please link all these things in a tidy ribboned package so my OCD can rest easy.

  3. Welcome back Hostess. I hope you had a pleasant vacation.

    Sasha and I both have problems with extremities. The Coors ad and Mark have both engendered resentment in some way. Not all that tidy, but they do relate in some little way. I hope that helps.

  4. Exactly. And can I have the taco casserole recipe?

  5. I'll bet you burned of calories doing all those activities too.

  6. Anonymous #2, are you calling me fat?