Thursday, July 10, 2014

Six Hours

Yesterday I spent six hours at the eye doctor's office for a series of tests. I truly hate going to the eye doctor. It is never a pleasant experience and when it is all done my eye sight is not improved one bit. The only thing I ever walk away with are two irritated eyeballs.

Four hours; The amount of time I sat in the waiting room between tests.
One hour; The total amount of time I sat in the doctor's examining rooms.
Five minutes; The amount of time the doctor was actually in the examining room with me.
Three minutes; The amount of time I had a medical gizmo actually touching my eyeball. It isn't pleasant. The nurse(I think she is a nurse) told me about one patient who they had to sedate just to do the same test she was doing to me. If I had only known.
Fifteen minutes; The amount of time I slept in the waiting room chair with my chin on my chest and my mouth open, drooling down my shirt.
Four; The number of chapters of John Waters book, Carsick, that I read in the waiting room before my eyes were too irritated to keep reading. By the way, Carsick is a very sick book, very dirty too. I like it so far.
Two minutes; The amount of time I spent screwing around with the doctor's machine in the examination room before I realized that if I broke it he'd probably charge me for it.
Twenty minutes; The amount of time a very loud asshole in the waiting room talked on the telephone to somebody who must have been very interested in hearing about what a fantastic son asshole had, and how great the kid was at baseball.
Twenty minutes; The amount of time asshole ignored the large sign on the doctor's waiting room wall that said, Please do not talk on your cell phone in the waiting room.
Thirty seconds; The amount of time it took me to call Mark on my cell phone from the doctor's waiting room and tell him to come and get me.


  1. I will bring "Carsick" to my OB/GYN appointment next month. Usually I read the 20 ways to please my man in Cosmopolitan and it sucks.
    Now I must go because your post made my eyes burn.

  2. Hostess, I have Carsick on my Kindle, so nobody knew that I was reading smut.

  3. What? Don't you have an iPhone so that you can play free cell solitaire and 2048? It keeps me busy for tens of minutes.

  4. iPhone is to small for me to see very well. My eyes would strain too much, so I have an old man phone. The Kindle is great. I can blow up the font as big as I need.