Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Hey Mark, What's Cooking?

I'll bet everybody has a barbecue grill out in the backyard. Everything from a modest kettle type charcoal grill, to an extravagant chrome plated, gas powered beast. Out in our yard we have a charcoal smoker type grill and a gas grill. Not one of the beasts, but a small gas grill that we used extensively after Hurricane Wilma. The thing is, we prefer the grill that uses charcoal over the gas because of the flavor that is imparted. So the gas grill sits idle, at least five years worth of idle. It has become somewhat of a derelict out in the yard, slowly sinking into the Florida Myakka. Even though it hasn't been used in a long time, it seems that it still has the aroma of grilled meat baked into it. How many of you have gone out into the yard late at night and lifted the lid to your grill? You might be surprised, as I was, to find that it has become a home to rodents. In our case, Chandler was showing intense interest in the grill, so I walked over to it and opened the lid. In the glow of my flashlight, in the micro second that I held that lid open before dropping both the lid and the flashlight, I saw rats. Big rats, many rats, scurrying rats, moving around inside that gas grill. 

Chandler doesn't show any interest in the gas grill any more. Not since I lifted the lid with a pair of barbecue tongs and threw a container of rat poison in there. And before any of you Peta people curse me for killing those poor defenseless rodents, consider the fact that I didn't do what Mark told me to do. As I explained to Mark, doing it his way would have probably smelled bad, like burned hair.


  1. Oh my Gawd. can't have rats in your back yard and certainly not on the grill.

  2. I must agree with Kim. I'm sure you stated in a loud, strong voice that you were going to go get rat poison and when you got back if any rats were still there it was on them, not you.
    P.S.Why don't the alligators eat the rats?

  3. Cool weather is coming, and the rats will move into the attic if I don't stop them at the border. Before I chopped down my orange trees, I had lots and lots of rats in the yard. As for the alligators, they like the feral cats that people dump out by the Everglades better than the rats.

  4. I would have been screaming my head off. I cant help it. I hate rats. We found a possum under the cover of our grill one year. Curtis went out there with a shovel. And a schnauzer. Scared the thing away. It looked ferocious. It was probably pissed we found his spot.