Monday, October 12, 2015

♫ Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks ♫

I never understood that line of that song. There's already peanuts in the Cracker Jacks, why would you buy both?

Lately Mark has been bringing home a bag of Cracker Jacks every time he goes shopping at Aldi's. He sits in the bedroom at his desk watching television and gobbles down the whole thing by himself. Well, all of it except for the peanuts. Mark doesn't like the peanuts so when he gets to the bottom of the bag, the only thing left are the peanuts. That's where I come in. I think the peanuts are the best part, so I take what's left and finish them off. Saturday night I was sitting in the living room polishing off the bottom of a Cracker Jack bag, when I suddenly realized there was something besides Cracker Jack peanuts in my mouth. I had shattered a tooth and the inside of my mouth was full of half chewed peanuts, chunks of tooth filling, and bits of the actual tooth. You see, there aren't just peanuts at the bottom of those bags. There are un-popped popcorn kernels. But I can't blame it all on un-popped popcorn kernels. It wasn't the un-popped popcorn kernel that had shattered my tooth. It simply finished off the job that my crunching on ice cubes had started. It's a horrible habit that I have, sucking and crunching on the ice cubes in my empty cocktail glass. Yes, I eat the ice cubes, which is very bad for my teeth. So I learned a big lesson Saturday night as I sat there with bits of tooth in my hand. I should never, ever let my cocktail glass sit empty.

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