I'm sure the new President will fix all this

Mark signed up for health insurance yesterday. He tried to do it online, but it wouldn't go through, so he called the insurance company. He put it on speaker phone so that I could help him if he needed any information that he couldn't remember.

"Okay sir, my name is Juanita. I'll need your name, address, and phone number."

Mark responds, and Juanita asks for more information.

"Okay, what is your effective date for Medicare part A? And what is your effective date for Medicare part B?"

Again, Mark responds.

"Thank you sir, I now need your Medicare number, Social Security number, and age."

Like a proper gentleman Mark gives her the information.

"Okay sir, please hold on while I connect you with an agent."

Cue the loud, scratchy, and irritating hold music. It might have been jazz, but then again it could have just been a recording of one of those Michigan Avenue beggars playing a clarinet. Hard to tell. About ten minutes later the music stops.

"Hello sir, my name is George and I will be your agent today. I'll need your name, address, and phone number."

Mark responds, and George asks for more information.

"And what is your effective date for Medicare part A? And what is your effective date for Medicare part B?"

Again, Mark responds.

"Thank you sir, I now need your Medicare number, Social Security number, and age."

Mark gives him the information.

"Okay sir, please hold on while I connect you with an application specialist."

Again the bad music blares out of the speaker.

Fifteen minutes later.

"Okay sir, I am connecting you with Shanice. She will be taking your application. Shanice?"

"Hello, I'm Shanice. I'll need your name, address, and phone number."

Mark responds, and Shanice asks for more information.

"Okay, what is your effective date for Medicare part A? And what is your effective date for Medicare part B?"

Again, Mark responds.

"Thank you sir, I now need your Medicare number, Social Security number, and age."

Again, Mark obliges. Now Shanice has all the information that she needs and she starts to read some information pertaining to the insurance for Mark.

"Medicare evaluates plans based on a 5-star rating system. Star ratings are calculated each year and may change from one year to the next.

Members may enroll in the plan only during specific times of the year. Contact us for more information.

The benefit information provided is a brief summary, but not a complete description of benefits. Additional information about benefits is available to assist you in making a decision about your coverage. This is an advertisement; for more information contact the plan.

For Medicare Advantage and Part D plans, benefits, formulary, pharmacy network, premium and/or copayments/coinsurance may change on January 1 of each year. Please contact us for details.

Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah................................

Shanice went on and on for nearly twenty minutes reading the long disclosure statement. If we were on line we would have scrolled right down to the end and checked that little box that said we had read it. I suggested to Mark that maybe we should move a little further north, like to Canada.