Sneaky Bitches

1972

Other than stop light and speed surveillance cameras, there is no traffic enforcement here in Chicago. I see people do the most outrageous things right in front of cops, and nothing. No ticket, not even a second look. It's kind of like the wild west out there. Seriously, there is a stop sign at the end of our block and if you slow down just a little bit instead of blowing through it at full speed, you get honked at. If you actually stop and there is somebody behind you, they get real pissed and add a middle finger to that honking. Just yesterday I saw somebody blow through that stop sign with a cop right behind. The cop didn't stop either. One thing Mark doesn't like about driving in Chicago are the people he calls, "Sneaky bitches". A sneaky bitch is somebody who illegally cuts around you or when two lanes go down to only one, they wait until the very last minute and stick their front bumper into the line of traffic. In those situations you have to keep no more than three inches between you and the car ahead of you or the sneaky bitch will worm their way in. Another tactic of the sneaky bitch, is pulling up to a stop light in the right turn lane, and when the light turns green they gun it and go straight ahead, cutting you off. Mark (aka, The worst driver in the world) lets that shit bother him. He gets all crazy and tries to race them and beat them to the punch. He does this even though I have reminded him again and again, that many of the other drivers he is challenging believe in exercising their second amendment rights. I, however, am not at all surprised by these driving tactics and I don't let them bother me. Mostly because I invented them, way back in the 1970's when I was driving a taxi cab in Chicago. Yes, I am the original Sneaky Bitch.