Fan-cy Feast

About fifteen years ago I hung a ceiling fan/light out on the back porch where the cats eat. For fifteen years that thing has given light to the little kitties as they devoured their free food, and cooled them with a nice little breeze on hot days. It wasn't all that good looking, in fact it was quite utilitarian, as I have always tended to purchase things on the side of low price over good looks. A few weeks ago Mark and I were in the Home Depot so that Mark could pick up a few more plants to kill in the back yard, when Mark came across a ceiling fan that was on sale.
"This looks so much better than that thing you have out on the porch now. I'm going to buy it."
"No."
"Sure, it'll look so much better, and I'll pay for it. All you have to do is put it up."
"No."
"Oh, it's heavy. Help me put it in the cart."
"No."
Well, that thing sat on the floor of our living room for over two weeks before I finally gave in and installed it. The job wasn't easy, and I gave my neighbors a new lesson in how many ways to use curse words, but it's up. So now, after two hours of working in ninety degree heat, and ninety percent humidity, not to mention the hoards of mosquito's drilling into my skin, the cats now have a new fan. The only problem is that even on high speed it seems to barely move the air. The poor cats are laying out on the porch, under that fan, sweating their little asses off. It does light the porch up nicely at night though. In fact it has the brightest light that I have ever seen on a ceiling fan. Just the thing to attract more of those blood thirsty mosquito's.

Photo Friday, Workout

The new exercise bike gets a workout.

Video Thursday, Transit of Venus

A Downward Spiral

I'm out in the yard early, skimming some kind of white, gooey mess, and what appears to be splotches of frog eggs out of the swimming pool. It's a horrible mess that I've had to clean up every day for over a week. I know where the frog eggs are coming from, I can hear them in the trees every night croaking loudly. But what the hell is this white sticky stuff?

I've battled iguanas, rats, possums, and various other odd critters over the years, but this white crap was something new. I mentioned it to the nice lesbian down the street, and she immediately said, "White flies, you have white flies. I've been cleaning up that mess out of our pool all week."
So I looked it up on the Google, and sure enough, we are infested with white flies. Spiraling white flies to be specific. The worst part about it is that there appears to be no known remedy for the little bastards. As for the frog eggs, I find that if I over chlorinate the pool it keeps them from hatching. Unfortunately it does not make them go away. So if anybody enjoys swimming in a nice pool with a thin layer of weird goo on top of the water, this is the place. The only other alternative I can think of is a catfish farm. Yum, fresh catfish right outside my door.

I Could Have Used a Different Photo

Let's face it, we've all seen that guy strolling down the street with his shirt off, his fat gut hanging out over his belt. It's disgusting and it always makes me want to yell out the car window, "Put the shirt back on fat ass!" So anyway, here I am again looking at another one of those slobs with a huge, bulging, pot belly with fat arms jiggling like puppies in a Mexican hammock. I know it would be better if I didn't look at the pig, but unfortunately I'm looking in a mirror.

That was last week. Seeing that horror finally caused me to do something about this pile of lard wrapped in skin that I am. This week I now have a beautiful stationary bike sitting in my office that I bought from Walmart. I purchased it on line because I can't stand the smell inside an actual Walmart. The reviews on line were all glowing, and for once a product that I have purchased, that was made in China, and I had to put together myself, is actually of high quality. It is rugged, and stable. It does everything that was promised, and it can also be folded away. Of course I will never fold it away, it has already become a handy place to hang Alicia's clothes.

Canned Laughter

A friend of mine told me about how he came home from work and found one of his kitchen cabinets laying on the floor of the kitchen. It had ripped away from the wall and smashed onto the floor. He said there were broken dishes and stuff all over the place. I mean, have you ever even considered such a thing happening in your house? Anyway, I thought it was a bit humorous that his house was falling down around him. A week later I talked to him again, and he mentioned that the cabinet was still on the floor, and that he had to keep walking around it every time he went in the kitchen. Suddenly the situation went from humorous to sad. It did get me to thinking though. I put up our kitchen cabinets just over ten years ago. I used three inch long screws, and fastened them securely into a two by six stud that ran across the entire kitchen wall. Certainly I have nothing to worry about.

Then I opened the cabinets, and took a closer look. I forgot that I live with a hoarder.

There must be a couple of hundred pounds of canned goods in the one on the right alone.

Photo Friday, What is it?

Honestly, what is it? I found it in one of the kitchen cabinets. Either Mark is planning a fantastic meal,or he's a terrorist.