Fan-cy Feast

About fifteen years ago I hung a ceiling fan/light out on the back porch where the cats eat. For fifteen years that thing has given light to the little kitties as they devoured their free food, and cooled them with a nice little breeze on hot days. It wasn't all that good looking, in fact it was quite utilitarian, as I have always tended to purchase things on the side of low price over good looks. A few weeks ago Mark and I were in the Home Depot so that Mark could pick up a few more plants to kill in the back yard, when Mark came across a ceiling fan that was on sale.
"This looks so much better than that thing you have out on the porch now. I'm going to buy it."
"No."
"Sure, it'll look so much better, and I'll pay for it. All you have to do is put it up."
"No."
"Oh, it's heavy. Help me put it in the cart."
"No."
Well, that thing sat on the floor of our living room for over two weeks before I finally gave in and installed it. The job wasn't easy, and I gave my neighbors a new lesson in how many ways to use curse words, but it's up. So now, after two hours of working in ninety degree heat, and ninety percent humidity, not to mention the hoards of mosquito's drilling into my skin, the cats now have a new fan. The only problem is that even on high speed it seems to barely move the air. The poor cats are laying out on the porch, under that fan, sweating their little asses off. It does light the porch up nicely at night though. In fact it has the brightest light that I have ever seen on a ceiling fan. Just the thing to attract more of those blood thirsty mosquito's.