Alabama Chinaman

"Three? Three? Why do you have three barbecue grills?" my friend Russell asked. It's simple, I have the gas grill that is basically a rusted out hulk, just so that when we get hit with a hurricane I can use the gas burner on it. Then there is the kettle type charcoal grill that Mark has been using for the last three years. It has served its life well, and delivered many a delicious meal, but it too has been reduced to a rusted out shell, much like a thirty year old Dodge. That is why we got the new smoker grill, made in the great country of China. The fact is that absolutely everything you purchase is now made in China, and I have learned to adjust my expectations. When I opened the box up and read the instructions, I wasn't surprised to find out that it was written in bad English and that it contained at least three errors. Believe it or not, I got the thing put together in one try, with only one stripped screw, and about fifty 'f*ck's. I probably did fling around a few racial slurs about the Chinese and there god awful quality of manufacturing, but I figure if I'm the only one out in the back yard it doesn't count. Kind of like the, if a tree falls in the woods thing.

The best part about our new smoker grill, is that I finished putting it together in plenty of time for Mark to make dinner on it. He's out there right now making something called Alabama Chicken, and I'm sure it will be great, but I think he should have done the inaugural barbecue with something Chinese, like Char Siu or maybe some delicious 烤 肉 雞. I'm told that last thing means 'barbecued chicken'. I hope so, if it means anything else, like roast dog, or cat, I apologize.