Visions of Sugar Plums...... and Ants

Merry Christmas everybody. Isn't this a wonderful time of year? Disney's 'A Christmas Carol' is showing at the theaters, Christmas shows are popping up all over television, and the Sunday newspaper, and our mailbox are stuffed with fliers filled with Christmas gift ideas. The only problem is that Christmas is six goddamned weeks away. All the horror that is Christmas, is still to come.

In two weeks Mark will start nagging me to pull the musty old tree out of the shed. If things are the same as they have been in the past, I will have to go armed with a can of Raid to fight off the hoards of ants that tend to make their home in the thing. After I drag that vermin infested tree into the house, and erect it in the living room, Mark will start whining about stringing lights outside. In the past, I have tried leaving the lights up all year round, but I got quite a bit of crap about that from Mark and the tenants. Besides all the extra work decorating and rearranging things, I also have to figure out what to get Mark for Christmas. It's not bad enough that I have to buy him Christmas gifts, his birthday is December 23rd, and for some reason he thinks that he also deserves something for that. Luckily, Mark has registered with Amazon.com, and all I have to do is look up what he wants. It's so easy, they have all my information, and all I have to do is pick out what I need, and click, it's purchased, and shipped. I'm sure Amazon.com dreamt that up to get guys like me to purchase things on a whim after we've been out drinking. It worked, I use it often late on Friday nights.

I really wish people would not push Christmas so early, and so hard. The only part about the holiday that I really do like, is around six in the evening on December 25th. That's when Mark puts a fantastic meal in front of me, and I eat until it hurts.