Does This Taste Funny To You?

It was about ten years ago that I thought I had been poisoned at a local diner. Not wanting to be sued for slander or some such thing, I will call it 'Pee Pee's Diner' (not the real name). At the time I was pretty sure that the meal I had eaten there, which I had mentioned to Mark "tastes funny", made me sick. After I recovered I made a pronouncement to Mark that Pee Pee's was now off limits. Mark was a little sorry to hear that since it was one of his favorite places for cheap eats, but I stood my ground and we didn't eat there for years.

A couple of years ago I let Mark talk me into trying Pee Pee's again. I was swayed somewhat by the glowing reports of others who swore it was the best place for breakfast, and that they never had a bad meal there. So for the last couple of years we have been eating breakfast there at least once a week. Two eggs over easy, home fried potatoes, and two pieces of toast, every time. Then there was this morning. I ordered the usual, and started in with the same gusto I do every time. After a couple of bites I said to Mark, "These potatoes don't taste fresh. They taste like they've been sitting around for a while." I then continued to shovel potatoes, eggs, and buttered toast, down my gullet.

Well, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and you can't be fooled again, or something like that. As of this afternoon I have hugged the porcelain five times. The first four times I barfed up small amounts while Chandler stood next to me lamenting such a waste of food. Finally on the fifth visit I opened up like a fire hydrant on a summer afternoon, and emptied the contents of my stomach and maybe even a few feet of small intestine into the toilet. I feel much better after that last barf, but I have made the pronouncement again to Mark. We will never, ever, even if Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewart, and Sarah Palin tell me it's the greatest food on earth, eat at Pee Pee's Diner again!