Skinny Black Guys

When I was a kid, I never liked it when Halloween landed on a Saturday. You just never knew when it was the right time to start trick or treating. Noon, or early afternoon, or did you wait until the sky started getting dark, and scary things could happen like the soaping of windows and the egging of other kids? Of course there were always those greedy little assholes who would come around as soon as the sun came up. They didn't get any candy from our house. Halloween on a school night was easier, because you had no choice. By the time you got home, and put on your costume, the sun had already started its dip behind the trees. I also liked it when the next day was a school day, because you could always see which kid had used indelible ink or shoe polish on their face. It made me feel a little bit better that I hadn't been so stupid.

As usual, this Halloween Mark put a bowl of candy next to the front door. Nobody has trick or treated on this street in the sixteen years that I have lived here, and there is no reason on earth for him to put that out there. I know Mark only does it to sabotage any chance I would have of losing a few pounds. In fact, so far, I have only attacked that candy once, for a Butterfinger. I love Butterfingers, and if that is the only one that I eat over the next few days, then I am sure that I have the self control to modify my diet.

Saturday night Mark dressed up for the big party here in town. He turned himself into Michael Jackson, as if that was such a stretch. Every year he just figures out who is the most famous skinny black guy in the news, and 'BAM!', Mark has a costume. Once again I dressed up as a middle aged, overweight, gay guy, had a few drinks, and then went home. It was perfect.