Oh Tannenbaum, Your Branches Green Delight Us

I am so glad that Mark opted for the live Christmas tree this year. It means I don't have to go out to the shed and drag that bug infested fake tree back into the house. Of course this being Florida, it is very possible that the live tree we got is also infested with insects or even a lizard or two. Real trees come with other problems, like prematurely drying out. The trees we get are trucked down to Florida all the way from places like Michigan, then they sit out in the heat and humidity for weeks before we show up to buy one. One year Mark brought home a tree that started dropping it's needles within two days. When he realized that the tree would be naked before Christmas came, he removed all the ornaments and lights, and then he dragged the thing out to his little Miata. It was off to the Home Depot return department. (Just a note to store owners, and managers, Mark will spend a lot of money in your establishment. Treat him right and everybody will be happy. Just don't screw with him, it's not worth it.)

 

Mark was already angry that he had to un-decorate a Christmas tree, and as he drove over to the Home Depot, his anger built into a rage. When he got there, he dragged the tree in through the door farthest from the return desk scattering pine needles in a trail all across the front of the store, and past the cash registers. One employee tried to stop him, but to no avail. Mark continued to drag the thing through the store until he reached the return desk with nothing left but a stick and bare branches. It could have been real ugly, with Mark in a full tilt snit, but it all turned out okay and this is one reason we still go back to Home Depot. The lady at the desk didn't even blink. She said, "Do you want cash or another tree?"