A story fantastic, a story so queer!
A television station in Chicago used to play this every Christmas. At the time I was very young and thought it was really creepy. Now that I am an adult and can appreciate it for what it is, I find that I am vindicated. It is creepy.
Here is a spoof from Comedy Central.
Here is a spoof from Comedy Central.
Santa looks like something from a WWII anti-Japanese propaganda film.
ReplyDeleteBack by popular demand and reprinted from last years Alan World Blog.
ReplyDeleteIt twas the week before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The ornaments were hung on the Christmas tree with care,
In hopes that Mark's decorations would add some gay flair.
Mark was nestled all snug in his sft comfy chair,
An shopping online for more Christmas flair.
And Chandler in his collar, and I in my sweater,
Had just begun cooking when I noticed the weather.
When out from the living room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the kitchen to see what was the matter.
Away to the doorway I flew in a zoom,
I turned the corner and peered in the room.
The Christmas Tree had been dealt a terrible blow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should I lament,
But a pile of branches, and several smashed ornament.
With a shreek and a scream and a yikes and a bark,
I knew in a moment it must be my Mark.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he shrilled, and shouted, and cursed it in vain!
"Now Carlotta! now, Chandler! now, Alan and Fat Kitty!
"What happened in here!" Mark screamed in a ditty.
To the top of the table! to the site on the floor!
Now get away! Get away! Get away all!"
The wind had come in with an unsettling squall,
And blew Mark's tree down; ornaments and all.
So back to his shopping did Mark go online,
With the web sites galore with "On Sale" signs.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard what was new,
With oooing and ahhhing and several yahoo!
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Out the door Mark ran with a bounce and a bound.
He was dressed all in Prada, from his head to his toe,
And his car was warmed up and ready to go.
A bundle of Credit cards he had flung in his pocket,
And he looked like a blur, as fast as a rocket!
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the smile on his face...well you had to know.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the bags, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the credit he rose!
He sprang to his car, back to home he did fly,
And the new ornaments from Macy's, were such a good buy!.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove home within sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
Thanks again, Garet, good job!!!
ReplyDeleteTHAT VIDEO IS JUST SKEEERRRRY
ReplyDeleteJust watched it again this holiday, and it was as dark and creepy as I thought it was when I was a kid. How did anyone think it was a cheery Xmas film?!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat Santa gave me nightmares.
ReplyDelete