Mark has the uncanny ability to know exactly what piece of crap, out of the thousands that he has filled this house with, has disappeared. Over the years I have surreptitiously tried to get rid of some of the clutter around here. I will identify a piece that hasn’t been used or even noticed in ages, and sneak it into the trash. Invariably, within one month, Mark will come to me and ask, what happened to this or that thing. I usually tell him that it is around somewhere, and that I just saw it a few days before. After a few days of frustrating searching, he gives up and forgets about it.
Today Mark started to un-decorate the Christmas tree. As he removed them, he methodically laid out all the ornaments on the dining room table, while taking mental inventory of each one. It seems that he knows each and every ornament personally, and when one of them goes missing, he goes batshit crazy. “What the hell happened to my Molly Dog ornament?”, he screamed. This is the point where I should have said that I didn’t know, but for some reason I told him the truth. “It fell off the tree, and Chandler chewed her legs off. I threw it away.” Mark started vibrating, and then exploded, “What, WHAT? THAT MUTT ATE MY MOLLY DOG??”
So that’s why Chandler and I are now hiding in my office. Chandler was the quickest to make it in here, and got the good spot behind my chair. I on the other hand, have taken the full force of Mark’s ire, which is okay because I’m used to it. Chandler however, has no idea what has made the skinny daddy so angry. He only knows that the best place to hide is behind fat daddy.
This should be another opportunity for Mark to go shopping for another similar ornament to replace the one that got chewed up.
ReplyDeleteThis is all "much ado about nothing."
It' called venting.
I'll send you guys the boxes and boxes of ornaments I have up in the attic. I have plenty.
ReplyDeleteMark has asked me to note that the Black Labrador "Molly" ornament cost him $30. Also, he wants me to tell you all that the character of Mark that I write about is somewhat fictional (Yeah, right). He almost never reads my blog, but decided to read this one today. I wish he would just comment.
ReplyDeleteBy the way Gary, keep your ornaments in your attic. I have no room left for storage.
I have many cherished tree ornaments in a box in my closet that have not seen the light of day in probably over a decade.
ReplyDeleteCall grinch but Christmas for me is much more personal than decorative.
Call me a Grinch but Christmas for me is much more personal than decorative.
ReplyDeleteI won't call you a Grinch, I'll call you cheap.
ReplyDeleteI think the family should start sending their old ornaments to Alan and Mark . Kind of like misfit island ...you know ...where Rudolph and the Dentist Elf went.
ReplyDeleteThat's the beauty of Christmas ornaments - they evolve, when you lose one another takes it's place. And a new memory too! I think a skinny ornament would be a really nice addition, just one!
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me laugh today!
love ya!
Gary, you ALREADY started "recycling" your old raggedy ornaments at the White Elephant game on Christmas!!
ReplyDeleteAl thank you so much for this year's Christmas gift, a Molly Dog ornament. As with all the previous ornaments you have sent, it looked great on my tree. I'm just sorry that Mark missed this one. I feel badly.
ReplyDelete