Catheter

When I was a kid, my mom and dad used to take us to the drive-in movies all the time. I'm sure it was both cheaper and easier to deal with than taking us to a regular theater. Usually my mom would put us in our pajamas before we left for the movies so that when she got us home she could send us directly to bed, or if needed, my dad could just carry the sleeping kid up to bed. The only drawback to this plan was if one of us had to go take a leak. It meant that we had to walk between all the cars to the little shack where the toilets were in our P.J.'s. Maybe that's why I have no problem walking around the yard in my underwear as an adult.

Speaking of having to pee at the movies, it is one of the major reasons I don't go to the movie theater anymore. It is inevitable that halfway through, I will have to pee. At times I have had to go so badly that I have actually considered using the bucket of Coke as a toilet. Not wanting to get arrested for indecent exposure, among other charges, I just wait for the slowest scene and run. During Titanic, which ran more than three and a half hours, I had to go twice. Thankfully there were more than enough slow spots in that one.

Yesterday Mark talked me into going to see James Cameron's latest marathon movie, Avatar. At two hours and forty minutes long, I knew that at some point I would have to make a pee run. In anticipation of the urinary factor, I decided that the super, duper, grande sized soda would be no good, and settled for the smallest Coke I could get, only thirty two ounces. Even at that, about an hour and fifty minutes into the movie, I felt the urge. Unfortunately the movie had no slow spots, and was actually so good that I sat there and jiggled around in my seat for the last fifty minutes. If I were to review Avatar, I would rate it 'Bladder Bursting Worthy'. It is a damn good movie, and I plan to see it again when it comes out on DVD. Of course as soon as the credits started to roll I trampled everybody as I ran for the can.