Thursday, April 25, 2019

Zippy Goes Shopping


I am not a fan of shopping. I have never understood the people who actually enjoy going to a store. Mark mentioned to me that Bed, Bath and Beyond was going to be closing a lot of their stores. "How could that be?" I asked him, "Every single time we're in that store, it's full of women and gay guys buying crap." Mark then explained to me that half of those people are buying things. The other half, minus the shop lifters, are returning the crap they bought the day before. Apparently it's a thing with some people. Buying and returning things. Then Mark explained that a lot of them will buy nice towels, nice dishes, nice things in general because they're either having a party or having visitors and want to impress others. As soon as the visitors leave or the day after the party, they return all that stuff. And then there are the real sickos who simply love the rush of purchasing shit and when buyer's remorse sinks in, they return it.

I especially hate shopping with Mark. He has no plan when he goes into a store and no list, just a general idea of what's on sale. He gets into one of those electric shopping carts and takes off, leaving me in his dust. I spend most of the shopping trip trying to catch my breath as I run after him. Up and down the aisles, first on one side of the store, and then while I'm not paying attention he zips clear across to the other side. I've started standing in one spot near the center of the store and calling him on the phone every once in awhile to check on him. It saves me from sore feet and if he needs me, I'm close enough. I used to try and out think Mark by picking up those things I knew we needed. This always backfired, because he would still zip on over to the aisles I just had come from. I seriously hate shopping.

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