Yellow Snow

 

Winter in Florida. It was fifty degrees by the pool.

January and February are the best months to live in Florida. I know, I lived there for twenty seven years. After nine months of relentless heat and humidity, you are finally  given the refreshing breezes and low temperatures of winter. It's pretty nice. Meanwhile, in Chicago, it is frozen nostril season. For the last two weeks of low humidity and near zero temperatures, I've been mining rocks from my nose. Out in the back yard dog turds lay frozen to the hard packed snow where Chandler wanders around, confused. He eats the snow, but then he is expected to poop in the very thing he loves. So he has picked an area that he will not defecate on. That is where he snacks on this seasonal treat, snow. Unfortunately, Scout does not respect these boundaries.

Winter in Chicago. It's not very pleasant. Ice, snow, frozen nostrils. But the most horrible part of it only lasts a short two months. And I'll tell you another thing about winter in Florida. When the weather in Chicago gets toe freezing cold, when it is at its worst, you can be sure a day later it will be too cold for the residents of Fort Lauderdale. It never fails. A cold front that blasts through the north always makes it to South Florida in the winter. And fifty degrees to the folks of South Florida is as horrible as zero is to a Chicagoan.