Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hey, I'm Walkin' Over Here!

I have become a pedestrian and a passenger. After forty years of driving, and putting twenty five to thirty five thousand miles on the odometer per year, I was forced to stop driving a few years ago because of my failing eyesight. It didn't come easy, I had to run over a bicyclist, kill a poor little kitty cat, and smash into a few cars before I gave in and stopped driving. I figured it was a good idea before I came home one day and found a wheelchair or a Smart Car wedged up under the bumper.

My travel life now consists mostly of walking, begging rides, and the occasional public transportation. It's not so bad, waiting for the bus gives you a lot of time to think. Unfortunately, I have plenty of time for that since I retired, and any extra time for thinking is just redundant pondering of what I will eat for dinner tonight or what time I will have my first cocktail. I do spend a lot of time watching television and one of my favorite programs is 'Top Gear', a British show featuring three morons who test high powered cars, and stage various stunts in which they trash used cars. It really makes me yearn for the days when I could drive like a moron with the rest of the insane South Florida drivers. The only difference is that I never had the expensive high powered cars, I pretty much had to stick to the cheaper ones.

This has inspired me, and I think I have an idea for owners of automobile race tracks across America. Blind drivers day! Open up the speedway to the visually impaired who can't drive on normal public streets, one night a month. Imagine Stevie Wonder flying around the track, racing against the Governor of New York. You could have different classes based on your percent of visual impairment. For instance my sister who only has one eye, the left one, could be in a class of racers who only do left turns around the oval. I have lost fifty percent of my vision, mostly peripheral, and I think it would really be fun to enter a demolition derby. Imagine the fun of not knowing which direction the next collision was coming from, and no kitty cats would be harmed.


  1. Love it. I'll even have my grandmother sign up for a lap or two. What type of insurance would you suggest the racetrack offer?

  2. Nice, you make me sound like a cyclops!

  3. Now would a cyclops have a left eye?

  4. Doesn't necessarily have to be in the middle..........