Monday, January 5, 2009

My New Years Stupor (It's not from alcohol)

In 1968 NBC decided to break away from a New York Jets, Oakland Raiders football game so that they could start their made for TV movie, 'Heidi', on time. In the one minute that was left of the game that nobody saw on TV, the Raiders came from behind and beat the Jets. Now I wasn't a Jets or Raiders fan, but I knew that I hated the story of Heidi, and more specifically the original version starring Shirley Temple. There are sweet little girls, and then there is Shirley Temple, who is so sweet and cloying that your teeth will rot just watching her. Thankfully, they don't break away from football games anymore, at least not for some snotty kids movie.

I had to finally get up out of the big fluffy chair on Sunday, and do something besides watch football. Since New Years Eve, I think I have watched all, or portions of, a dozen games. I started New Years Day watching the Rose Parade on my new HD television, followed by three football games in a row. By the time I was halfway through the Rose Bowl game, my eyes had glazed over, saliva was running out of the corner of my mouth, and Mark was trying to slap me back into reality. On Sunday I was watching my third NFL playoff game, when I realized that if I didn't get up and do something besides watch football, my ass might become one with the fluffy chair and Mark would have to call 911 to come pry said ass out of it.

I think it's the new television that has got me hooked on so much football this year. Thank god I have my dog Chandler. He at least gets me out and moving when we go walkies every evening. I have got it down to a science, and when need be, I can get him out and around the block during halftime.


  1. Easy chairs and big screen TV's nice for a while but don't make them a habit. A sedentary lifestyle is not healthy.

  2. don't let anonymous rain on your parade...lazy chair, Fat Kitty and football FOREVER!

  3. Actually, that's Carlotta Kitty trying to suckle my man-boob.

  4. I thought it was Fat Kitty giving you looked like you needed it!!