Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts

Sometimes Mark cracks me up, that is when he's not making me fat or driving me crazy. Today he was trying to keep Chandler from gutting the new toy that he had bought for him. Mark just doesn't understand that it's in a dogs DNA to catch and gut small critters, and to Chandler the little yellow elephant that Mark brought home is just another critter. No matter how much Mark tries to stop it, it is just a matter of time before the living room is filled with puffy white stuffing, and the lifeless form of yet another kill. I think Chandler might even like his toys better after they have been disemboweled. He has a whole collection of carcasses that he has gutted over the last year, and they aren't just some kind of sick dog trophies. He likes to play with them. Never an evening goes by where he doesn't bring me a saliva soaked hunk of cloth with it's eyes torn out, for us to play fetch with. Maybe that's why the cats are so wary of him. After all, they aren't much bigger than those toys. Today's toy is actually a stuffed animal that Mark got out of one of those claw machines that they have in the bars. It is of relatively low quality, and I have given it a life expectancy of just an hour or so. Even when Mark has sprung for the big bucks and bought Chandler one of those toys that are 'made for dogs', he has managed to gut them within a day or two. The funniest part is when Mark scolds him for being the dog that he is. Chandler just gives him a quizzical look, then goes back to the task at hand. Ripping the head off his new toy. Sometimes I think that if Mark didn't occasionally give him food, Chandler would probably just look at Him as another critter. Albeit, a very large skinny one, but oh what a trophy carcass he would make.