Sunday, December 20, 2009

Oh, How Thoughtful! Do You Have The Receipt?

Here is the reason I truly do not look forward to this time of year. Not only do I have to put up with my own birthday on Sunday, and buy Mark dinner and a gift for his birthday Wednesday, I also have to deal with Christmas. Mark thinks he is making it easy for me by telling me exactly what he wants, and expects to find, under that tree. The problem is that he also expects me to come up with one great, special gift that I thought up all by myself. So I am now in a full blown panic because I not only cannot think of something special to get Mark, the time left to get such a gift is rapidly diminishing. In past years I have given him jewelry, and tickets to Broadway shows. Then there is the time I gave him love birds, which I found out was a horrible idea because it turned out that Mark was allergic to them, and they reproduced like, well like love birds. We ended up with a dozen of the squawking bastards, and Mark going to the hospital.

No matter what I think of getting him, it turns out that Mark has something like it squirreled away here in the house or out in the shed. It isn't easy to figure out what to get the man who already has a house full of crap, but hopefully I will sort this out by Friday. If, by Christmas morning, I still haven't found that 'special something' for Mark, I may have to resort to some quick thinking. I always could tie a big red ribbon around one of those feral cats I brought home last week. Of course my prime rib Christmas dinner, might turn into a can of cat food if I tried that.


  1. I was feeling a bit sorry for you until you mentioned prime rib. I have to eat god damned dry turkey.

    I've only barely started my shopping, if miserable company makes you feel any better.

  2. I am so sorry you have to eat turkey. I watched a turkey yesterday afternoon. It was called the Bears game.

  3. That's an insult to turkeys.