So Big

I had a traumatic experience at the mall over the weekend. In just one short month there will be another wedding in our family, so that means I have to gather together the appropriate clothing for such an occasion. The last time I had to wear a coat and tie was eight years ago when my brother got married. I haven't pulled a suit or sport coat out of the closet to even look at one of them since. What a shock it was when I tried them all on this past weekend, it was like a sausage maker trying to stuff meat into a casing. Not only couldn't I button any of them up, but somehow my arms got longer, and fatter. I looked like Rush Limbaugh trying to squeeze into Ellen Degeneres' clothes, so it was off to the mall with Mark for a new sport coat.

As painful as it is shopping with Mark, this shopping trip was even worse. I started by trying on sport coats a couple of sizes larger than what I had at home. No luck, they were all too small. I kept on moving down the rack, trying on each size, 42, 44, 46, all too small. I had reached the end of the rack, there were no more sizes. That is when Mark said, “Okay, lets go over to the big and tall section.” Well I know that I’m not tall, just under six feet, so that could only leave big as the operative word. Thankfully the first jacket I tried on fit fine, and I didn’t have to keep working my way up to the coats for the obese. If ever I got the needed impetus to lose weight, it is having to buy clothes in the fat man’s section of the store.

As I write this I am starving. I have limited my intake of food today and when Mark asked if I wanted anything from Wendy’s, I said no. I am so intent on losing some weight that when Mark brought back a sack of smelly, greasy, food from Wendy’s, I didn’t even sneak into the kitchen and steal a French fry. Of course it’s only been one day, we’ll see how it is going by this time tomorrow. Damn I’m hungry.