Monday, June 23, 2014


They're doing this thing now on Facebook called "Throwback Thursday", where you post old photos of yourself. It's so cute when one of my nephews or nieces posts a photo of something that happened just a few years ago. They think they have really reached back into time, until right after their post I post a tintype from my childhood. The problem with Throwback Thursday is that it makes me think about aging. It's jarring to realize just how old I've gotten. I try to deny it, but there are a few indicators that clearly point out that I have entered into...  ugh, I can't say it. Let's just say "older" age. So here are a few things that made me realize I have entered the age where people look at me like I shouldn't be in that bar with all those kids.

  •  AARP, those assholes sent me a membership card and membership form the month I turned fifty. Fuck them, by all standards I should have had sixteen more years before I could join the American Association of Retired People. Then I realized I could get discounts with my AARP card. So I joined. Then I realized those discounts were for things old people like to do. So I let it lapse.
  •  Listening to the oldies radio station. For years I resisted, realizing that to listen to Majic 102.7 Golden Oldies, would be admitting I was over the hill. Of course just the fact that I was listening to the radio instead of an ipod did that. I've also been told by Mark that even the ipod that I have finally broke down and decided to order, is obsolete. He tells me everybody is listening to their iphones now.
  • Which is another old person thing, telephones. In my house is a telephone that rings the same number that I have had for twenty five years. It is called a land line. Land lines are only used by people over a certain age, and even though I have joined the twenty first century and also have a cell phone, I am told that the flip phone I use is barely twenty first century technology. The joke is on you youngsters, nobody is going to mug me for my flip phone.
  • I take a lot of pills. Too many pills, and they are not for the purpose of getting stoned.

I'm going to wrap up this little study in old age now. Sixty Minutes is coming on soon, and after that there is a Murder She Wrote marathon. I don't want to miss it.


  1. Damn it, I forgot to delete the bad words when I sent this to my mom this morning. Now she'll think that I swear a lot.

    1. That's ok Alan. I know mom didn't swear when you were a kid but by the time the second wave came she's was swearing like a pro. I'm sure she won't even notice them ;)

  2. Technology will always make you feel old.

  3. Patti, Mom didn't swear when we were kids and elephants flew out of her butt.

  4. The swears will make her nostalgic for Big Al!