"Mark, stop at the Seven-Eleven. We have to put air in the front tires, they look really low."
"$1.25 for air? Are they fucking crazy? What the hell ever happened to free air? When I was a kid you could get air anywhere for free. Well screw it, Mark. We'll find air someplace else."
"No, you said the front tires were low and I don't want to get a flat tonight."
"Fine, I'll put air in the tires at $1.25 a pop."
Later in the evening back at home.
"Okay Alan, I'm going out with my friends. See you later."
"Hmmm... have fun."
The phone rings. It's Mark.
"Squawk... sputter.... flat tire... squeal... can't.... spare... "
"Tire you.... can't find spare... flat..."
"Where are you?"
"Food store... "
"What food store? Where?"
"Don't know... by the Liquor Fountain..."
Phone rings again.
"Squawk... where's the jack? I can't find the jack!"
There are a number of problems with this whole scenario. First of all, Mark does not know how to change a tire, and besides that he couldn't even if he knew how. Let's just say it's outside the realm of his abilities. Secondly, I have no way of getting over to the Liquor Fountain (An actual bar in Fort Lauderdale) to help him. thirdly, for some reason the jack and tire iron are always missing from our car. I have gone out and bought replacement jacks, and still when it comes to the time of need, the jack is missing. It may just be buried under all the bags, magazines, and miscellaneous crap Mark has in the back of the car, but I wouldn't know because I'm not there. And finally, the worst part about all of this. The mechanic told me just a couple of weeks ago that, that tire was on the verge of failing, and I said "No, I think it will be fine. I don't want to buy a new set of tires just now."
I sure hope Mark gets that tire changed and makes his way back home. Because I'll need the car first thing in the morning so that I can go up to Sears and get some new tires.