Friday, August 14, 2015

Channel 33

"Squawk... Sputter... Brother... Big Brother...!"
I know that sound. I'm very familiar with that sound. That's Mark overreacting to some inconsequential bullshit that I probably don't care about.
"What's wrong?" I shout across the house.
Mark comes storming into the living room. He's vibrating, and I pretty sure he even levitates when he is in this state.
"Big Brother, Big Brother... they...gasp, choke... they pre-empted it for some stupid Dolphin thing!"
"You mean the football game, the game I'm watching."

I don't get it. Mark loves fine dining, fine art, well done plays and Broadway musicals. He reads good books, is up on current affairs, and appreciates good design. He knows his history, he knows a lot of things. Mark is not stupid. So how come his television viewing habits are so banal, so stupid? Mark is upset because one of his dumb reality shows isn't on. Big Brother. I've walked into the room while Mark is watching that crap. My god, how can anybody be entertained by watching a bunch of morons talk behind each other's backs while wearing things fetched from the dirty clothes hamper? I swear to god, I can smell those people right through the television screen. But I have sympathy for Mark, and I let him know that he will not miss his Big Brother.
"Okay, okay. Just calm the fuck down. Your show is probably on channel 33. That's where they always move the CBS shows when the Dolphins play."
Sure enough, there was Big Brother just a few channels further up the list on 33.
"Oh, thank god. Come in the bedroom and show me how to turn it to channel 33."
I said he wasn't stupid, I didn't say he was clever.


  1. At least he can watch channel 33. Yesterday ABC showed the Cubs live instead of part one of the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions final, which the little banner below screen advised would be seen at 3:10 am. As it turned out I was unable to sleep so got to see the rerun of the show (as it turned out it was a rerun tourny I had actually seen last winter but forgot. I don't have a recorder). Anyway, it was better when the Cubs were on their rightful home station, WGN. I never saw the sense in Big Brother, sorry, Mark--but really, they shouldn't mess with Jeopardy!

    1. Yes, Jeopardy is all reruns until September. When we move to Chicago we'll have to record it so that we can watch it after dinner. We've become accustomed to watching it after dinner, and so have the dogs. For some reason the minute they hear the music, they go crazy and play-fight for at least the first fifteen minutes.