Friday, August 7, 2015

Lindsay Lohan

On a cold winter day forty years ago, I came home one evening and opened the door to find a kitty cat sitting on the stairs waiting for me. I didn't have a cat. Upon a little investigation I found out that my tenant, Mike Waters, had found this cat and decided that I was the perfect person to give it to. Fine, I opened the door to my apartment and let her in. I called her kitty, eventually changing it to Amanda, after Amanda Blake, the original Miss Kitty. Amanda moved to California with me, back to Chicago with me, and again to Florida. I estimate that Amanda was around twenty years old when she died. Over the years I added Nina, Carlotta, Fat Kitty, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears to my home. Up until Lindsay and Britney, all my cats lived in my house with me. Unfortunately for Lindsay and Britney, my and Mark's allergies sentenced them to a life in the back yard. I simply couldn't allow them inside.

Lindsay left us yesterday. I took her to the vet because she had a bloody paw and nose. I returned home without her. I honestly have felt sad and shed tears over each and every one of my cats that have passed on, but Lindsay was different. She lived outdoors and I never really bonded with her other than the moments I fed her and brushed her. So Lindsay is now gone, but I am not all that sad. I'm not sad because Lindsay is better off where she is now. No, not kitty cat heaven. Lindsay is at Abandoned Pet Rescue. Lindsay is sitting inside, in air conditioning, with a bowl of food in front of her, with access to complete healthcare, along with about thirty of her new friends. I can't take Lindsay with us to Chicago. She's an outdoor cat, and I don't think she would last one winter in Chicago. So while Lindsay is sitting pretty at APR, Britney is still living in the backyard all alone, without her girlfriend. Nobody to hang out with except lizards, possums, and raccoons. But that's okay, she'll soon be with Lindsay and she'll receive a big welcome Just like Lindsay did. When I walked into the large cat room with Lindsay and put her carrier down on the floor, all of the cats in the room swarmed around her giving her a big friendly welcome. They'll be just fine there. 

Now if you don't think Lindsay and Britney will be "just fine" at Abandoned Pet Rescue, you can go there and adopt them. Just as long as you let them live inside, in air conditioned comfort.


  1. To Lindsay! Queen of Pet Rescue. She will regale those other "pussies" with REAL tales of adventure until Britney comes and coughs up a hair ball and rains on her party.

    1. Did I mention that Lindsay got out of her carrier very un-ladylike, and she wasn't wearing underwear.