Thursday, April 14, 2016

The Crap is Here!

The stuff has arrived. All that crap that I spent months packing for shipment by moving van has arrived, and it's all been stuffed into my mom's two car garage. I-will-never-do-this-AGAIN! All the anxiety I had while the movers packed the crap into the truck down in Florida, returned as I watched it all roll off the truck here in Tinley Park. Let's start with the arrival of the super gigantic, moving van. For some reason the driver thought it was alright to drive over my mother's neighbor's lawns. I knew it was going to be a long day as I watched the front tires of the truck sink into the sod. The moron then decided to back out of there by driving over more lawns. Yes, the neighbors were pissed. Yes, the homeowner's association was called. And yes, the police were called. I tried to keep it from my mom because she really didn't need to know. Unfortunately Mark can speak, and he did.

So eventually our stuff was off loaded and piled into the garage. Then Dippy Dipshit, the driver, told me that I would have to  pay for the blankets that had been wrapped around everything.
"I don't want your blankets."
"Yes, but if we unwrap everything it might all get broken."
So while Mark had a shit fit, I took a box cutter and started to remove a blanket from one of the pieces of furniture.
"Okay sir, only ten dollars per blanket."
I continued to remove blankets.
"Eight dollars."
"No dollars. I don't want the blankets."
Finally the other mover guy spoke up, "Okay, we're tired. We don't want to remove all the blankets. We'll take the ones that are easy to remove and maybe you'll consider that when we're done."
Meaning, give us a nice tip. I gave them a nice tip. Oh, and one more thing. How the hell is it that every box marked fragile came off the truck slightly squished? And how is it that most of the furniture was delivered upside down? Honestly, if you are planning to move, don't bother writing "Fragile; This side up" on anything. Maybe it'll have a better chance of arriving right side up.

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