Urethra Franklin

If you watch the evening news on any network, you might notice that almost all of the ads are for drugs of some kind. My favorite part of those commercials are the side effect warnings. Today I saw an ad for a teenage acne medicine that included possible side effects of hallucinations, suicidal tendencies, and the possibility of death. I know that sounds like fun, especially to old acid heads, but I think the kids might be better off if they just lived with the pimples and the taunts from the other kids of 'pizza face'.

Is it possible that many of the diseases that they talk about in television ads might just be made up so that the pharmaceutical companies can peddle their pills? Really, who ever heard of 'Restless Leg Syndrome' before seeing that commercial on television? For years I always figured all that jiggling before Mark fell asleep was just a weird, nervous tic. Now I know, thanks to GlaxoSmithKline, that Mark has RLS.

In addition to Mark's RLS, I have been able to diagnose one of my own ills thanks to the medical advice of television ads. Since childhood I have had problems with my pee stream. It has been a weak, thin stream since I can remember, making it really hard to win at pee sword fighting. Now thanks to the great Flomax guys out on that golf course, I can safely say that my prostate has probably been enlarged all these years. I admit that it seems a little strange for a child to have the prostate of a fifty year old man, but just like my older brothers clothes, I have finally grown into my prostate gland. The question is, should I take a pill to shrink the thing down to size, and what will the side effects be? I already hallucinate, and I'm getting the normal amount of sex that a person married for twelve years gets, so the trippy part and lowering of my desire to have sex don't really seem to be a problem. I just hope, 'possible death' isn't one of the side effects. That seems a little extreme just so I can pee like a race horse.