We 'B' Things

Often shopping with Mark can end up in embarrassing situations. this time we are standing in Toys 'r' Us, arguing with the lady at the checkout about whether the coupon we brought for the 'Snow White' DVD is valid. We had followed the instructions in the Toys 'r' Us flier, and printed out the coupon online, but the lady said no, she couldn't take it because it was a fake. After explaining to her about computers, the internet, and online coupons, she still refused, convinced that somehow we were trying to put one over on her. Okay I thought, I'll just step back and let Mark do his magic. After a few words back and forth, Mark demanded to see the manager, perhaps a little louder than he should have. Within a minute the manager came out, and I figured a level headed toy store manager would iron everything out and we'd be done with it. Almost immediately he said, "We don't accept reproduction coupons, and if you don't leave the store I'll call the police." How it jumped from our wanting to buy a children's movie, to calling the cops that fast, I can't figure out, but it pissed me off and for once it was Mark who was trying to stop me from embarrassing him. I let loose with a string of profanity. The manager was an asshole, the store was run by assholes, Geoffrey the giraffe was an asshole, I called everyone within sight an asshole. The filth continued to fly out of my mouth as Mark hustled me out of the store.

I don't know exactly what Mark did after we got home. I could hear him squawking into the phone at someone, and then he left the house, returning a while later with a 'Snow White' DVD in his hand. Later I got a phone call from Toys 'r' Us headquarters asking for Mark. "Could you please have him call us back when he gets in?" the pleasant voice at the other end said.

See, that's the difference between Mark and me. Mark squawks, and squeaks, and insults, until he gets what he wants. I just start cursing, and end up looking like a crazy old man who nobody wants to even talk to.