Like a Virgin

I was reading a story online about a Virgin Airlines flight from Europe that was diverted to an airport in Connecticut. Because the airport had no facilities for processing overseas flights, i.e. customs, the passengers had to sit on the runway for four hours without food, water, or air-conditioning. I started thinking about that. Would I sit there quietly in a stifling tube filled with crying babies, and Mark next to me whining louder than the babies?

You have no idea what Mark is capable of if he feels he's been slighted or inconvenienced in any way. On our flight back from Italy a few years ago, I and the rest of the passengers had to endure a full on hissy fit by Mark because the flight attendants ran out of chicken meals before they got to us. "I don't want this pasta. I want the chicken I was promised you stupid bitch.", Mark shrieked (note: he may not have used the words 'stupid bitch'. I have condensed all the horrible things he said into those two words.) On and on he whined while I sank back into the seat trying to disappear, or at least trying to look like I wasn't with this crazy man. His behavior actually made me physically ill. I can remember the three worst migraine headaches I have ever had in my life, the kind that make you vomit and unable to open your eyes because of the light. The one I got on that flight is number two on that list.

We are a spoiled people. We have come to expect air-conditioning, the food we want when we want it, and the connectivity of computers, and television at all times. When something goes awry, we complain, we bitch, and we moan, but nobody can bitch, and moan, and complain with such a piercing voice, or such insistence as Mark. I thought about being on that Virgin Airlines flight, and being stuck there with Mark for an indeterminate amount of time, and I’ve come to the conclusion that no, no I would not put up with it. I would get up, go to the emergency exit, and open it. I would deploy that blow up slide, and tumble down it to the pavement below. I don’t care if they arrested me and threw me in jail. At least I would have air-conditioning, food, and water, and I wouldn’t be sitting next to that wailing banshee.