Summer Television

When there is nothing on the television that I care to watch, my go to channels are HGTV and Turner Classic Movies. So if I'm tired of watching Gone With The Wind, Rear Window, and the other twenty movies that TCM plays over and over, I'm left with only HGTV. I especially like House Hunters, and House Hunters International. I hate The Property Brothers. Every single episode starts out rosy, and then halfway through they find out that the house has been eaten by termites or it has asbestos. But back to House Hunters. Sometimes I end up hating the couple shopping for a house because they say stupid things. Here are the top stupid things, that stupid couples say on House Hunters.

"Ewwww... I hate this color."

It's paint you assholes. You buy a bucket of paint and change the color. Less than a hundred dollars and you won't have to look at that color you hate.

As they look out the kitchen window one of them will say, "Oh my god, I can see another house. This place doesn't have any privacy."

What is it that they are doing in their home, what is it that they don't want anybody to see? Even though the other neighbor's house is half a mile away, the idiots are worried about privacy. Curtains, just buy some goddamned curtains.

"There is no fence around the yard. Poor fluffy will wander off and get lost."

Once again, easy fix. It's called a building a fence. People do it all the time.

When I bought this house, I walked through the place and didn't whine about anything. I didn't mention that I didn't like the color of the walls because they were a very nice color and after I bought the place I painted those I didn't like. I didn't bitch about privacy, even though the neighbor's windows were about six feet away. I made friends with them and they put up curtains. I wasn't worried about a fence, I simply had one built. And because I didn't complain and didn't show my hand, I got a very good price. It wasn't until I made an offer in writing that I put down all the things that needed to be done. Maybe that's why HGTV didn't pick us when they were looking for home buyers to feature in Chicago. No drama.