Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Saturnalia

Well it's that time of year and the week from hell has descended, once again, upon my head. December 23rd is Mark's birthday, the 25th is of course Christmas, the 27th is the anniversary of my birth, thirty nine-teen plus one years ago, followed by New Years Eve, and New Years Day. The last two I really don't have any problem with, as I just stay home on New Years Eve because I really don't want to mix with the part-timers, and New Years Day is spent watching football. It's the three birthdays that I have a problem with.

If my mother were the only person to acknowledge my birthday, I'd be very happy. With each passing year it just gets more and more depressing. Thirty.....forty.....fifty.....holy crap, next year is looming large. It seems that it took about a hundred years to reach the age of twenty, and ten years to hit thirty, since then it has only taken ten more years to reach fifty nine. I figure when I turn a hundred, it will seem like just a month has passed since the year 2008.

Mark and Jesus' birthdays are a little more complicated, since I have to purchase gifts for Mark on both of those days. It just doesn't seem right. I do take it kind of easy, and do all of my shopping on line. The only problem with that is getting the crap delivered on time. Unfortunately, Mark's birthday present didn't arrive in time and I had to give him an empty box with a printout of's email telling me it would be here in two to four weeks, and I am still sweating the delivery of one of his Christmas presents. I rush ordered it overnight, but once again was sold out. They have sent me one more email stating it will be here today the 24th, but if it isn't I really don't think I can get away with the empty box trick again. Not unless the box is made out of gold and studded with diamonds.


  1. How about giving Mark a gift you don't have to wrap; like a gift certificate for Macy's or some fine dining restaurant. How about a day spa. Gifts don't have to be physical objects.

    Have a Merry Christmas everyone.

  2. You are so funny Garet. Obviously you don't know Mark very well. He craves those brightly wrapped packages. He has already said the packages I have put under the tree aren't festive enough. My wrapping method is basically like wrapping a fish in newspaper with a lot of Scotch Tape.

  3. I would make a donation in his name to a charity. That would stop his complaining about your gift wrapping skills.

  4. Happy Birthday to you Mark and also Alan when the day comes.

    I think its great to have christmassey birthdays, get it all done in one great party!

    Merry Christmas to my fave American bloggers too.. your great! :)

  5. There's your solution, Alan, you just need to wrap the EMPTY box in the most beautiful manner! He will be so busy admiring it that he won't even open it until the real gift shows up!! P.S. Your problem is that you are a "P***-inator". That's a procrastinator from the family P***!! You need to start shopping earlier and stashing the gifts!

  6. Alan needs to wear a Santa suit next year.