Tuesday, December 2, 2008

That Porn Star Must Be Really Old By Now

Back in the early 1950's my dad brought home a new television. He took one power cord and plugged it into the wall. He then took one antenna cable and connected it to the television. Within minutes we were able to watch all four television stations in the Chicago area. Sure, the screen was only about ten inches across, and the picture was only in shades of grey, black, and white, but we didn't care. Television watching was so simple for me back then.

Over the last thirty years I have watched my television habits get more and more complicated. It started with my first VCR tape machine. Cables going from the antenna to the VCR and then to the television were connected. Next, I added satellite television and more cables and equipment were needed. This was followed by a surround sound, and a DVD player, which was also tied into my stereo system. In time it became so complicated behind my television that I didn't know which cables were going where, and some times I even duplicated the efforts causing sound to come blasting out of speakers I didn't even know I had. It got to the point that I was terrified to even look behind my television for fear of accidentally unplugging some cable that would render me television-less, and cause me hours of trial and error plugging and un-plugging. In ten years no dust mop, broom, or vacuum has seen the back of my entertainment center. It is just a scramble of cables, wires, and huge dust bunnies.

Saturday I installed my new HD television. First I retired my VCR, because I realized I hadn't even used it in years, other than to look at a twenty-five year old porno tape. Then I started removing cables. After pulling out about five miles of cable and wires, I was able to remove the old TV and all the components on top of it. I then positioned the new television, the new DVD player, the satellite box, and the sound system amplifier where I wanted them. After an hour of partial guessing and some actual reading of the instructions, I had it all re-cabled, and ready to go. I have a picture, and sound, so I think it will all be good, that is until the satellite installer comes on Thursday to upgrade the satellite system. But of course that's his problem.

8 comments:

  1. ETOCK - Klingon WarriorDecember 2, 2008 at 5:54 PM

    Aren't you aware of all the wireless equipment out here that connect by Tacheon particle beams. Oh, maybe that technolgy hasn't been invented yet on Earth. Sorry, this damn time travel cloaking device uncloaked me in the wrong century.

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  2. Excuse my spelling. That is "Tachyon Particle" as in "Faster-than-Light" particles used in time travel originally invented by the Romulans in the 23rd Century and theoried by a Mr. Albert Einstein in the 20th century.

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  3. Another reminder of how I hate the technology revolution. I came as far as a cell phone, but still have a cable television with an attached VCR/DVD player. And I don't even use the VCR element much anymore.

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  4. Hhahaha @ Etcok klingon warrior - wtf!!!!

    Masses of sky dishes every where, and they are not even pretty.. be great if they could make some kind of ear design and the like- much more fun

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  5. I watch a 13" tv with rabbit ears and one plug. I only get 3 channels. I have no desire for anything else.

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  6. Ya, and in a few months you won't have anything else. Get a coupon, Gare.

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  7. Garet: You really need to climb out of that hole.

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  8. I already have a converter box. Geesh, now I have two plugs to deal with! Help!

    I'm not in a hole. I just like to think differently. I would rather be on TV rather than watch TV.

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