Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Thorn In My Mothers Toe


As much as I hated him, I have to admit, Billy Mays was a great salesman. Just by screaming at the top of his lungs he could get people to buy the worst crap imaginable. Trust me, Mark has a pile of stupid mops to prove it.

Getting ripped off by the television is kind of embarrassing, but getting ripped off on the internet is even more stupid. Over and over again I've received the famous Nigerian come on that if I help Oogullii Mooguuuli get his money out of a bank in Saudi Arabia, I can keep a million of it. There are thousands of variations on that theme, but if you are stupid enough to fall for it, I say you get what you deserve. So imagine my chagrin when I found out from my mom that I have been screwed by the internet. I ordered a beautiful bouquet of roses on line from FTD, a company that has been around since I was a child, for my mom's birthday. For fifteen dollars more I could include a bottle of Vera Wang perfume. Great, my mom likes perfume, I'll go for it. In the photo on line, the roses looked great, and the bottle of perfume looked to be of reasonable size. If the roses were the size of my fist, the bottle of perfume must be at least an inch and a half tall. Apparently FTD roses are only a half of an inch across. Here is a photo from the FTD web site, followed by a photo of my mom's big toe and the bottle of Vera Wang perfume.



One of them stinks, and I'm sure it's not my mom's toe.

8 comments:

  1. Knowing you I still have to ask - did you let FTD know how bad their "deal" was? I also heard they delivered it to the wrong house! It was a very thoughtful gift Alan, even if FTD screwed up.

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  2. I just got that photo last night. I will send it on to FTD.

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  3. That's really shitty of them. I say, sick Mark on them.

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  4. Turn it over to Mark, he'll get what ever you want.

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  5. I agree . Send Mark after 'em. He's one of the best Consumer Advocates around. Unfortunately it looks like he's one of the worst when it comes to the original purchase. I'm sure they'll throw coupons at him until he shuts up.

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  6. Advertisers: Con artists with a legit job.

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  7. As they say, Alan, it's the thought that counts!!!

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  8. Okay, now I'm embarrassed thanks to my reprobate brother in law. I should have known my mom's toe wouldn't look that gnarly. It is my sister's husband's big fat toe, and my other sister thought it would be funny to send it to me and say it was mom's. Either way, it is still a tiny bottle of perfume, except that now we know that the toe in the photo does most definately stink.

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