Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Splice Girls

Tuesday night is movie night at our house with Mark as the arbiter of what movie will be seen. Some weeks his picks are very entertaining, and don't suck. Then there are the weeks he picks crap. Bad chick flicks, children's movies, or even worse, kiddie movies that are also chick flicks like 'The Littlest Mermaid'.

Last night Mark had a choice between 'Nightmare on Elm Street', 'The Human Centipede" (A disgusting sounding movie that I'm sure I'll see soon.), and the 'Karate Kid'. He brought home none of those. Instead he got something called 'Splice' starring Adrian Brody. It turned out to be a pretty decent horror/suspense movie, and I'd recommend it to anyone with a strong stomach. Unfortunately Mark is not that person. He cannot take gore, it sends him into a fit of puking convulsions. All during the movie if he wasn't about to barf, Mark was running out of the room screaming. That's another problem with watching movies with Mark. He won't stay in the room if there is about to be mayhem. Then he expects me to explain what happened when he returns, without any of the disgusting details.

Mark keeps telling me that it's a black thing, screaming and retching through the movie. I don't think so, I don't believe that's true. I've been in theaters with black people before, and they didn't go running down the aisles screaming and puking. Maybe a few dumb asses might have talked through a movie, but there was no running and puking. I just think Mark is a big chicken shit who is making excuses for his goofy behavior. Then there's the other question, why does he rent these movies in the first place?


  1. I saw the trailer for Human Centipede. You'd have to rent the optional defibrillator for Mark with that flick.
    My girlfriend does the same thing with my movie picks...then stays up all night watching true crime stories on the ID channel. At least our monsters are out in space, Alan.

  2. True crime stories are more scary than fictional horror stories. Because they're real.

  3. Okay, Mark brought home Human Centipede this evening. I don't recommend it to anybody. Maybe Dr. Mengele would like it. It wasn't the gore and suspense that I found disturbing. I just keep telling myself that stuff is just Hollywood special effects. No, it was the entire subject matter that was so, so disturbing. I actually watched half of the movie with my hands in front of my face.

    Mark watched the movie from the kitchen door, about twenty feet away. That way he could duck into the kitchen fast when horrible, evil, sick crap was happening.