Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Warning: Possibly a Very Sick and Perverted Post

 Read at your own risk.

Every day, twice a day, we go through the same routine, the feeding of the indoor cats. I go to the kitchen, and at the sound of the can opening two cats appear, rubbing against my legs, tails up in the air. Meanwhile Chandler is lurking, looking to get in on some of that cat food before it's been processed by the kitties, and deposited in the litter box as tasty, bite sized little treats. So to keep Chandler at bay I feed Carlotta on a table in the sun room, and Fat Kitty in my bedroom. Amazingly it only takes positioning the box fan near my bedroom door to keep Chandler out. As a special treat to him, as soon as Fat Kitty is done eating I move the fan over a few inches and Chandler comes rushing in. Every time it's the same, he takes the bowl in his mouth and skulks off with it to lick it clean of any morsel the cat might have missed.

One thing I have noticed when washing up the cat bowl after Chandler has licked it clean, is that it's very slimy. It's like a coating of some sort of lubricant has been smeared all over the bowl. The same is true for when I wash his food bowl, but on a much larger scale. Is it possible that dogs have some kind of oily substance in their saliva? Honestly, I have even dropped his food bowl in the sink when washing it from the slickness of it.

This has given me an idea, and a way for dog rescue shelters to make some money. Dog spit lubricant. I can collect dog spit by paying a friendly visit to each dog in the shelter. After letting them give me doggy kisses, or licks on my face, I can then scrape it off into a bucket. It would then be bottled and sold at places like Home Depot as an all purpose lubricant. Good for squeaky hinges, wheels, and sticky drawers. Now I know what some of you sick minded people are thinking, and yes, it might even sell well at places like Plato's Retreat.


  1. I've noticed that after my dog has finished eating. Not every time but not all the time. Interesting. . . .

  2. you had me at "sick and perverted"

  3. Maybe you need to feed Chandler moist food as well and possible at the same time as the cats.