Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Curious Alan

Taken with my cell phone while waiting
I was a curious kid. I don't mean curious as in odd, though I was that too. I mean that I was always looking at, and touching, and opening things I shouldn't. I'd often get into trouble at friends homes for going through their parents things because adult things were the most interesting. In my teen years I would baby sit for neighbors, which opened up a whole new world for me to explore. I think I found every porn stash that those good, church going husbands and fathers had. I haven't changed much in my adult years. I will open a medicine cabinet, or drawer just to see how much the same, or different people are from me. I don't mean any harm, but I am surprised at how many people have hemorrhoids, and dye their hair.

Last week I went to see my eye doctor. He's an okay guy, but he does seem to do a lot of unneeded exams, and cause me to do a lot of waiting around. Doctors have a formula for seeing patients that allows them to see the most possible in a day. They all have a series of examination rooms where they store the patients. Then while you are sitting there waiting patiently, the doctor runs from room to room, in a whirlwind of activity. So there I was last week, sitting in a room full of equipment, waiting. I could hear the doctor through the not quite soundproof walls.
"Everything okay Mrs. Goldbloom? Blah, blah, blah,..... put two drops per day in each eye. See you again in six months."
Meanwhile, I am sitting in a room alone with a bunch of high tech examination equipment, and drawers and cabinets full of doctor things. I could barely contain myself. After projecting eyecharts on the ceiling, and screwing with the magnifying thingamabob, I started playing with the electronic exam chair. Forward, back, up, down, it was like a cheap carnival ride.

No, the doctor didn't catch me messing with his things. But I wonder. How reliable could all his tests and exams really be, after I screwed with all that stuff.


  1. I was going to invite you to my place...maybe not. I admit, I do the same thing. I once took a page out of my own chart while I waited for the dr. and I always "examine" my kids ears & eyes with those neat tools.

  2. Oh great, and you're coming to Chicago next month. I guess I'll have to start hiding things before you get here. I have no desire to look at other peoples stuff, I have enough of my own to keep me busy.