Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Was I Too Mean?

I'd had a hectic morning yesterday. I walked the two dogs, and made Mark breakfast. Then I spent an hour on the phone talking, and faxing documents back and forth, over a monumental screw up by my flood insurance company. So when I went back into the bedroom to lay back for a few moments, I wasn't ready for more crap.

I heard the tap, tap, tap on the window. I didn't need the dogs to let me know somebody was outside, but they jumped to the task, barking loudly, and running to the door in a race. Pushing the hounds aside, I opened the first door, and found two old ladies holding beat up bibles outside the outer glass entry. They were selling religion door to door. Here's my problem with that. I don't go to their home and bother them. I don't go find out where they live, and try to push my ideas of life, and death on them. My beliefs don't hinge upon their approval. If your religion is so wonderful, and is the greatest thing since Jesus walked on water, then why the hell do you have to go door to door and try to convince me of that? So I opened the door, enough for an enraged Chandler to stick his head out, and cursed at them. I shouted for them to "Get the hell off my property!". As they skedaddled down the sidewalk, I wondered, was I too mean? The whole purpose of being so aggressive is so they won't ever think of coming back. I learned that when I was a kid, and mean old men would shake their fists, yelling out the door for me to get off the grass.

It's not like I only do it to religious salesmen. When phone sales people, poll takers, and politicians call, I scream and curse at them. When bums come up to the car and beg for money I...   well I don't scream at them. I just roll up the window and pretend I don't see them. I figure if I ignore them they'll go away quietly. They usually do, unlike the religion ladies who harrumphed and cackled as they waddled towards the front gate.

Okay, I have got a lot of comments saying I should put up a sign. I am conflicted between which sign to put up. I like the first one, but the second one covers more than just the JH's. We do have crazy Mormons who come around too. (And if you don't think Mormons are crazy, watch this video  South Park Mormon Episode )



  1. You should put a "no soliciting" sigh on the front gate. That is supposed to keep them out. At least when you yell at them it was their fault for not reading.

  2. If there is a God he will lead them to the porn house and the inhabitants will invite them in for "tea".

  3. Yes, you were too mean. What kind of man yells and curses old ladies with Bibles?

    Even in the worst of circumstances, I'd never behave that way, and your only excuse is you were a little annoyed over dealing with the insurance company? Very weak.

    Have some respect; hang a "No Soliciting" sign; and pick on somebody your own size.

  4. Anonymous #2, apparently you have never been brutalized by religion, never marginalized by religion, never treated as less than a human by bible toting religious old women and men. I have. I have no respect what so ever for religion. It is a ancient power grab that has been perpetuated on the human race for thousands of years. Those old ladies would have been just as happy to put me in homo jail. Old bible toting zealots like them would like to take away my humanity, and treat me as something less than them. The problem is that we have all been brain washed since infancy about religion, and religious people. We have been told that they are the good people. They aren't. Most of us buy the line about an afterlife because we are terrified to face the possibility that there isn't any.

    Now I am not talking about the garden variety church going folk, who go because it's a nice social club. My mom goes to church, some of my sisters, and brothers go to church, but they never, ever come knocking on my door trying to push their beliefs on me.

    Other than all that, I love churches. They are generally nice examples of architecture.

  5. Plus many of the churches have nice lawns for our dogs to poop on. Just sayin...

  6. Charlston (Anonymous 2)June 15, 2011 at 5:16 PM

    To me, the issue has nothing to do with religion. The issue is that it's never okay for a grown man to yell at and curse at old, defenselss ladies. How would you feel if someone acted that way toward your mother?

    I don't care if they were there on missionary work or there to sell girl scout cookies. All you had to do was stick your head out the door and say, "Thank you, ladies, but I'm not interested in speaking about this subject. Good luck and take care."

  7. First of all, my mother would never think of going door to door selling her religion.
    Second, if it will make you feel any better, the little old ladies were probably younger than me. I am an old fart myself. Read my disclaimer on the right sidebar.

  8. Again, not about religion. At all. If you're going to act completely uncivilized around women who dare to tap on your window, at least do them the courtesy of putting up a "No Soliciting" sign so they know in advance that you don't want to talk and don't have to discover it when you brutishly yell and swear at them to get off your doorstep.



    I agree. Get a "No solicitation sign"

    See many to choose from at the link above.

  11. It was okay to growl at the bible thumpers or any other door to door salesman. What people need to know is that unless its holloween its not ok to knock on your door and try to push something you didn't ask for on you.
    The 'no solictor' sign is goofy. If you want someone to knock on your door and sell you something put up a sign that says 'solicitors welcome'.
    Hey I've seen you get angry and yell. You flap your arms and your voice hits a high pitch.I still to this day have that image in my head of you leaping off the loading dock and screaming at Chester. Are you sure those bible thumpers were harumphing? Maybe thats how they laugh.

  12. Everyone is so worried about the biddies that came to your door. So sick of politically correct bs. I don't care about them. If more people actually yelled at them to stop their shit, maybe they'd get the hint. Plus, half the time they don't pay attention to the no soliciting signs. I'm about 15 yrs. younger than you and I yell at them as they get out of their cars to get off my property. Don't know 'em, don't want to know 'em. Then again, I'm a rude northern bitch. And I can't remember my google stuff. damnit.

  13. Please check out my addendum to this post.

  14. Personally, I prefer the "Go Away" door mat.
    see it at this link below:

  15. Garrett, none of your links work.