Melon Head

I can sniff out a funky smell fairly easily. From dog farts, to failed food in the refrigerator, I can usually nail it. Friday evening I came back home after going out for a few cocktails, and I smelled funk. A nasty stench magnified by my vodka buzz. I began checking the obvious. Not the garbage, I had taken  that out. No dog shit anywhere in sight, and no cat vomit either. After checking the kitty litter, and the bathroom to see if Mark had flushed, I started the room by room search.

Mark loves to shop, not for the sake of buying, but for the sake of buying crap that is on sale. So it is not unusual to have bags of things lying around our house for days on end. One such bag was lying in front of Mark's closet for a couple of weeks. I assumed it had clothes in it that Mark found on one of his shopping safaris, so I had ignored it. Imagine my surprise when I looked in that bag, and found a watermelon. A rotting, leaking, smelly, watermelon.

I have on occasion gone to the supermarket and bought a small section of watermelon for immediate consumption. Full sized watermelons don't fit in our refrigerator, so I just buy what I intend to eat. Obviously watermelons were on sale a few weeks ago. I don't know any other reason Mark would bring home a gigantic watermelon, and leave it in the bedroom to rot. Unless he planned to sit on the front porch eating it, spitting seeds out into the garden, and just forgot.