Monday, July 25, 2011

Power Trip

I am always amused by Hollywood clich├ęs. One that I find particularly stupid is the power failure. In movies, as the power fails, they first show a room full of lights flickering, then going out one at a time. They then back out and show a view of the city as chunks of the grid slowly fail. That is not how electricity fails. It is sudden, and certain. In the blink of an eye everything is dark. You are not given time to look around and see lights in the distance blink off. Most of all you don't conveniently have a match in your pocket, and a candle next to you. No, you have to stumble around in the dark trying to find that flashlight you were certain was left on the top shelf, while cursing and shouting for some goddamned help.

This evening I was sitting at my desk, working away at the computer, when 'blip', the electric went out. My immediate reaction was, 'Damn, I've lost that game of bubbles I was so close to finishing'. Then I started inventorying all the other things no electric means. Number one, no air-conditioning. It was ninety two degrees outside, and even though it had only been seconds since the power failed I was already sweating. Then I realized there would be no steak dinner that Mark had promised, and no television, which meant no Jeopardy, no baseball games, nothing.

After calling Florida Power and Light, and throwing a temper tantrum, I grabbed Mark, and dragged him out to a nice cool tavern with satellite television. FPL had estimated that they would have the power back on in two hours, and like a fool I took them at their word. when we returned home after the two hours, there was still no electricity, and the FPL repair men were standing around chatting under the power pole in my back yard. I probably shouldn't have told them they were incompetent, and shouldn't have called their office and demanded a crew who knew what they were doing, but I had been drinking for two hours. I was crabby. I honestly think they purposely wasted another two hours out there, for a total of four hours of no electric on one of the hottest days of the year. I'm going to call FPL tomorrow, and demand that the electric company deduct thirty nine dollars off my bill for the cost of cocktails. Of course tomorrow I won't be drunk and I just might forget about the whole thing.


  1. Any excuse for a cocktail. It's Florida and it's FPL. After 20+ years you should be used to it.

  2. Give 'em hell, Alan. You and I were separated at birth. That birth being the unholy union of Attila the Hun and Aileen Wuornos.

  3. Whole house Propane/Natural gas backup generators are available at The Home Depot for only $2,898.

    or just google whole house back up generators

    It might be a wise investment and increase your homes value.

  4. Garrett, you do know that I have less money now than I did when you lived with me, and I didn't have much back then either.

  5. Just get some more Kleenex.

  6. Monthly payments on that generator. Monthly payments.