Tuesday, July 12, 2011
What The F*ck Would You Do?
"Sorry maam, I didn't know he came at you with a hatchet. Go right ahead and shoot him."
I have a large, extremely strong dog. For the most part he behaves, and obeys me. The only trouble I ever have with him is when a bicycle or motorcycle goes by. If I see them coming I can take Chandler aside and keep him calm, but sometimes, like last Friday, they sneak up on me.
We were taking our afternoon walk when one of the morons that live next door to me came buzzing by on a mini-motorcycle. You know, the kind that kids are always getting killed on because the cars can't see them. Anyway, Chandler went nuts, and took off after it. Thanks to the new bouncy leash my mom gave Chandler, he didn't tear my arm off. Instead he reached the end, and I jerked him back, yelling "NO!". That didn't seem to faze him. He ran again after the motorcycle, again hitting the end of the leash. I jerked him back again. On his third try I jerked him back and gave him a slap on the ass just to get his attention. When everything finally got calmed down, I heard somebody yelling. It was some punky young guy hanging out the passenger window of a pickup truck a half block away. As I walked towards the truck I could hear him.
"I'm calling the police!"
I was confused, why would he call the police.
"You have a problem?", I asked him. He then informed me that he saw me abusing 'that dog', and he was reporting me.
I suddenly turned into my father.
"Why the fuck don't you mind your own fucking business. You have no fucking idea what the fuck was going on." I then added the little addendum, "Asshole!". At that point the kid got out and did the little tough guy shuffle, and we exchanged a few more pithy comments.
I blame John Quiñones, and his television show, 'What Would You Do?' for this behavior. If you've never seen that show, John Quiñones sets up some bizarre scenario where someone is doing something outrageous that never in a million years would the average person run into. He does this with a hidden camera, and then sits back to see how people would react to it. Many people ignore the situation, or maybe notice it, talk to each other about it, and then ignore it. In other words, they mind their own damn business. Sometimes though, somebody will get involved. This behavior is considered to be good, and all the folks who ignored the situation are shamed. That of course is stupid. Remember, if that guy doesn't mind bullying his girlfriend he certainly isn't going to care if your nose gets bloodied by his fist.
By the way, Chandler didn't like the punky guy, and convinced him to get back into the truck.