Monday, January 5, 2015

It's Over

Yesterday morning I felt good. I was singing and in great spirits. I was getting all the storage boxes out of the closets, Christmas was coming down. Mark's Christmas Tree was beautiful, as usual, but I am over it. Of course, I was over it before it even began. This was a strange Christmas season. We did not have one visitor come by. Not one cocktail was shared, nor a glass of wine in our house during the holidays. Nobody came over for dinner, not for cookies, not even to get a glimpse of Mark's glorious Christmas Tree. Add to that scenario the fact that according to Mark, I ruined Christmas... twice. The first instance where I ruined Christmas was Mark's Christmas present. Although he denies it, Mark told me that everything he wanted for Christmas was on his 'Wish List', on Amazon. So like a good boy I went onto Amazon and ordered the first four things on his list. Apparently I did the wrong thing.
"I don't want a goddamned waffle iron. That was supposed to be for you." Mark cried as he opened the gift.
"Well then it shouldn't have been on your public 'Wish List'. Beware what you wish for Mark." 
Especially around me, I tend to take things literally. The second way I ruined Christmas was on the morning of Christmas itself. Mark likes to get up early, just like when he was a child, and open the presents while seasonal music plays in the background. I agree, it's the way my family used to do it and doing it that way does bring back a few fond memories. However, I had made different plans for Christmas Morning. Over at the Abandoned Pet Rescue are a bunch of people who work for minimum wage feeding the dogs and cats, picking up dog shit, and scooping cat turds. It wasn't much, but it was the best I could do for them. I offered to fill in for the girl who shovels the big dog's, dog shit. She spends three hours every morning moving all the dogs outside, cleaning their pens, putting food out for them, then letting them all back in, and finally, cleaning up all the dog shit that they have just left outside. Dog shit, it's the gift that keeps on giving. Anyway, I gave the girl Christmas Morning off, and in the process pissed Mark off. As I was leaving for Abandoned Pet Rescue early Christmas Morning, Mark had a hissy fit and went into a day long pout. Needless to say, I cleaned up those dog pens with a special feeling in my heart that morning. As each turd was scooped up and dumped into the bin, I pictured Mark's face on them. And as for next Christmas, Mark will be getting a special gift in his stocking. I saved something special for him. I'm sure it will be dried out by then, but I'll put it in a Glad Zip Lock Bag just in case.


  1. Mark would HATE Christmas with me. Actually, Alan... why don't you come over to England next year and spend Christmas with me. I can guarantee you that you will not find a Christmas tree in my house.