Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Nipple Rings

One problem with South Florida and the eternal warm weather is that many people think it's okay to dress like they're on the beach all the time. Some years ago there was this fellow who walked around town in nothing but flip flops, a tiny Speedo bathing suit, and a back pack. No matter what the weather, what time of year it was, or the circumstances, he was in his little Speedo suit strutting around town looking like a squirrel had stashed it's treasure in there. If his looks had been along the lines of Nick Jonas I don't think anybody would complain, but they weren't. He looked more like a naked Gilbert Gottfried and walked like he had a stick up his ass. He was like a bad auto accident. You didn't want to look, but you always found your eyes drifting over to the side of the road where his fleshiness was on full display. I don't know when he disappeared from the scene, but I didn't realize until lately that Mr. Speedo was not walking the streets of Fort Lauderdale anymore. What made me think of him after not seeing the man in the tiny yellow Speedo for quite a while, was the man in the tiny onion skin shorts. It seems that we have a new roadside distraction. Again, one that you don't really want to look at. It is a middle aged man who walks around town in nothing but short, shorts made of that onion skin material (I don't even know where you would buy those), a pair of tennis shoes, and nipple rings. That is all. He wears nothing under the shorts and the nipples from which those rings hang, are the size of two small cigar butts. It has now become a sort of game Mark and I play. Who is first to spot the nipple man? This morning it was Mark, and like a moron, I looked.

1 comment:

  1. "...his fleshiness". Genius once again. Thanks for the laugh Alan!