Wednesday, April 29, 2015


We're moving to Chicago. That's a fact. If the contract we have on the sale of this house goes through, we should be moving around the end of June. There are so many things that I have to worry about. How to get our stuff up to Chicago, buying a new place up there, stopping utilities and starting them again. But I have no worry, no obstacle, nothing as problematic as Mark. He has been whining non-stop since I told him that I was going to accept the offer on our house. Over and over again I have told him that if he does not want to move, he is free to stay in Florida. I might even come to visit him once in awhile. Anyway, here are some of his worries about moving.

  •        He won't have healthcare in Chicago.
  •        We will have to move into a slum neighborhood because we don't have five million dollars to buy a home in a trendy neighborhood.
  •        His dentist isn't in Chicago.
  •        Mark cannot conceive of any way things we have here will end up there.
  •        There are stairs in Chicago.
  •        There are Mexicans in Chicago and Mark does not speak Mexican.
  •        And of course, Chicago is not Florida. Mark is terrified that he will be found frozen to death on the street next January.

So help me out. If anybody we know in Chicago feels up to it, please call Mark and let him know that he can get health insurance, and they do have hospitals. Please reassure him that just because a neighborhood does not have ten Starbucks, and a martini bar, it is still a very livable place. If you have teeth, Chicago has dentists. There are these things called trucks with guys called movers. Tell  Mark that stairs are good for your health, they'll keep your legs from atrophying. Let him know that what Mexicans there are in Chicago, they do speak English. And of course there is January. Okay, I have to give it to him on this one. He may very well freeze to death.


  1. Mischievious MichiganderApril 29, 2015 at 7:51 AM

    Mark, Chicago has MACYS. Chicago has WATER TOWER PLACE. Chicago has MUSEUMS. Chicago has HALSTEAD STREET. Chicago has LAKE MICHIGAN. and lastly, Chicago has INTERNET ACCESS.

  2. Congrats on the sale of your place, Alan!
    Mark will adjust... after all, didn't he originally come from New Jersey?

    1. There is a rumor that he was hatched in the Bronx.

  3. Oh Mark, Mark. Chicago is GREAT! It's a REAL city with fantastic communities. (Too bad about Rham Emanuel). You will love it. (OK -- that's the best I can do. I was only there once. But I am an urban rat and I rather like big cities so I think Chicago will be fine for you two.)

  4. And the rest of us have an entire new Volume of Alan World, set in Chicago, to look forward to following!! So many new opportunities for stories from your new setting!!

  5. I give you one winter like the last one we had up here and you'll be jetting back to Fla tout de suite. Why in the world are you moving back north???