1953: "Coffee will be much better off on a farm with other dogs." As we pulled up to a brick building in the city, with Coffee in the back seat.
1955: "You'll like school. That's where the nuns are, and you like nuns. Don't you?"
1956 through 1968: "How come you don't have any homework?"
1960: "Stay away from that kid Carl down the street. He's a pervert."
1962: "If you don't start doing better, we're going to send you to the Public School. You don't want to go to the Public School, do you?" I did want to go to Public School. I took that as encouragement to do worse.
1968: "Are you high on drugs?"
1969: "You don't have bugs, do you?" On my first visit back home after moving into an apartment with three of my friends.
1970: "Oh, I know that. Just don't tell your father." On my coming out as gay to my mom.
1973: "He's kind of wishy washy. Like a wet rag." After meeting my new boyfriend. Poor guy, he didn't have a chance after that.
1985: "Oh my god. Slow down, you drive like a maniac." That is actually something I said to Mom.
1988: "Oh, yeeesshhh... please drive slower." Mom to me as I raced through the streets of Chicago with her in the back seat. Payback is a bitch.
1994: "What's that smell?" Said during Mom and Dad's visit to my new house in Florida.
2002: "Something smells horrible in my house."
2002: (A couple of days later) "Your brother found a dead possum under my porch."
2016: "Bye, bye honey. Thanks for calling. I love you." Around 2PM, last Sunday afternoon.